Monkey's Blog - with a little help from Alice

Busy, busy...

Busy, busy, broil and trouble. [A quotation from one of the other monkeys locked away with a typewriter.] Yes, I admit, my cousin Monk made a similar joke. More about him later, perhaps.

There is dissention in the ranks. My head is positively ringing (or rather very negatively, but you humans don't seem to say that) with the voices of Vera and Alice shouting at me.

Vera's tasks: plants, dishes, washing

They're both saying that writing up this blog is taking us far too long. Alice says there are countless unneccesary diversions (but I thought my public enjoyed them!) and I get carried away with my own little witticisms, which she doesn't usually think are particularly funny, anyway.

Vera says there's no time left to get on with the basic necessities of life. "WHO do you think is responsible for the shopping and cooking and cleaning?" she yelled yesterday. "The dishes don't wipe themselves! The washing doesn't hang itself up! The window-boxes and houseplants don't water themselves!" At which point Alice added that she hasn't been able finish reading for her Book Group, either. And The Box is filling up with episodes of The Bridge we haven't had time to watch.

Trying to help

I was tempted to tell Vera that, "After the first five years, the dust doesn't get any thicker." [Quentin Crisp, oft quoted and misquoted.] Instead, I tried to help out, but she just laughed at me in her rubber gloves. And I nearly replied to Alice that she's the one who's so pernickety about the images fitting aesthetically into the text, and she hasn't completed this month's book because it's boring, or so she complains. Moreover, WHO made us spend two and a half hours in the smallest, most uncomfortable cinema screen, watching an interminably slow film on Monday afternoon?   [It was The Turin Horse, directed by Béla Tarr, a Hungarian master of cinematography and the long one-shot scene - Alice]  More of that later, when the Film Group meets.

Anyway, I've had to agree to making my "catching up" extremely brief this time. So...

Post-Jubilations

[Fondly known as HIGNFY]

HIGNIFY is one of our favourite programs. It's a hoot. [Hoot?]

Ian Hislop (edits Private Eye) and Paul Merton can be guaranteed to get even Vera laughing out loud.

Just after the Jubilations were officially over, they had the writer, comedian and poker player, Victoria Coren on the panel.

Seeing a picture of the Queen looking decidedly dismal, VC commented that she looked as though she was there thinking, "I've been given some-one else's day out by mistake." She added, "She's an eighty-six year old lady monarch - and they've given her a boat trip and a pop concert..."  Indeed.

Visiting the children again

Looking after the ticket

This time we got a Cheap Day Return on the train. After waiting for the Inspector to check our ticket, I was able to enjoy the view, while Alice read.

Ghastly ghosts?

The kids were as delightful as ever. At one point they couldn't agree who was to be Darth Vader, and who Luke Skywalker, so they mysteriously disappeared, then called me to see the ghosts in the loo! Something to do with de-constructing their Lightsabres, I think. Alice later consented to be chased by "baby crocodiles" (clothes-pegs) and then playing football with the girl, who was extremely good at it. The wee boy was very busy helping his father do some digging in the garden. After supper, we read their bed-time stories, then came home again.


There'll be more "catching up" in a while...